Did you know everyday conversations can boost a child’s language development? This guide will help you have more meaningful conversations with children by adapting your language to their needs and interests. It covers why talking to children matters, what to talk about, and practical tips for improving communication, including strategies for supporting children with language difficulties.
Why Talking to Children Matters
As humans we are hard wired to learn language, but it doesn’t happen by chance. Children learn to talk through interaction with the people and the world around them.
Two-way interaction with children is important for language development. Having conversations allows children to share their thoughts and feelings, use their language for thinking and reasoning, and form a strong foundation for relationships.
We’d love for all children to feel confident in communicating to the best of their ability, not just through school, but into adulthood.
What to Talk to Children About
Start from what they are interested in. The research has shown that talking about the child’s focus of attention promotes language. There are strong benefits of caregivers noticing what young children are paying attention to and talking about those things. This is known as ‘contingent talk’.
As children get older, we can expand on our conversations using more complex language, reflecting children’s interests and supporting them to share their experiences.
We know that what we talk about with children matters, for example:
Conversations about objects and living things help children to understand how the world works, which supports their reasoning capabilities as they grow older.
Conversations about the thoughts, feelings and desires of others can increase their empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives.
Parent–child ‘number talk’ has been found to support children’s early counting skills which in turn, strongly predict children’s mathematical achievement in later primary and secondary school.
Language Development Timelines
Children learn to talk at different rates, some being very quick, with first words arriving before their first birthday. Others will take longer, taking more time to speak and combine their words into sentences. Some children (around 10%) will struggle to learn language and need additional support or specialist intervention.
Regardless of how they are progressing, all children benefit from interaction at their level following their areas of interest. The key is for adults to adapt their language so children can initiate and join in with conversations. These early interactions are the basis for later language development and provide a strong foundation for wider learning, social interaction and wellbeing.
If you are worried about the language skills of children you live or work with, these free downloadable documents give details of typical language development. Universally speaking from birth to 5, from 5 to 11, and 11 to 18.
10 Top Tips for Talking to Children
1. Talk About What They Love
Follow their lead - whatever their age, talking about what they’re interested in helps develop language and connection.
Examples:
A baby points at a dog → “Yes, it’s a dog!”
A toddler stops to explore → Comment on what they see.
A child shares Minecraft details → Listen and respond with interest.
A teen chats about a band, a match, or a friendship issue → Be present and open.
2. Help Them Understand What They Hear
Support children to match words to the world around them. Narrate what’s happening, label objects, and explain words as part of everyday life.
“First pour the cereal, then add the milk .”
“Coat on”
“Authentic – that means being your true self.”
3. Build on What They Say
With young children, respond to their attempts at communication with expansions and recasts. These both give children the chance to hear a good model of language linked to what they are talking about.
Expansions add more information:
Child: “Dog” → Adult: “Yes, it’s a lovely brown dog”
Recasts provide a more adult way of talking:
Child: “Them mans dig” → Adult: “That’s right, the men are digging.”
4. Ask Open Questions
Encourage conversation and critical thinking with open-ended questions like:
“What do you think about that?”
“Can you tell me more?”
“How did that make you feel?”
5. Balance Questions with Comments
Use more comments than questions to allow children to take the conversation in their own direction.
“I love your picture.”
Rather than: “What have you drawn?”
This lets children take the lead.
6. Model Good Listening
Children learn how to listen by watching you.
Show interest
Stay present
Avoid interrupting
Your example teaches them how conversations work.
7. Play With Words
Support word learning by using a wide variety of words in different settings.
Try rhyming games
Clap out syllables
Sing together
If they’re unsure of a word, explain it and link it to something they already know.
8. Keep the Conversation Going
Aim for back-and-forth exchanges. Encourage children to give more information and share more details using simple prompts:
“I wonder…”
“Tell me more…”
“Wow, really?”
“I think… what do you think?”
9. Create Space and Find the Right Moment
Children often need time. Pause and don’t rush them.
Younger children may take longer to respond.
Older children might need the right time - not always when you’re ready.
Tip: Side-by-side chats (e.g. walking or in the car) often feel more natural than face-to-face, especially with teens.
10. Reflect on Shared Experiences
Talking about past events helps children structure personal stories.
Try:
“Remember our holiday?”
“What did you do at the weekend?”
“Tell me how you built that amazing Lego model.”
10 Top Tips for Talking to Children Struggling to Learn Language
Children with language difficulties benefit just as much from rich conversations and meaningful interaction - but they may need extra support to join in and understand.
The key? Adapt your language to suit their needs. That might mean simplifying, repeating, giving more time, or finding new ways to communicate.
Here’s how to make every interaction count:
1. Follow Their Lead
Just like with typically developing children, notice what they’re interested in and talk about what they’re doing or looking at. This can help them learn words more quickly.
2. Create Opportunities to Communicate
Sometimes children get used to having their needs met without talking. Give lots of time for children to communicate through pointing, gestures, and words. Play games and create space for communication without pressure.
3. Get Their Attention First
Children can get absorbed in what they’re doing - and listening while doing something else can be hard.
Say their name first
Get down to their level
Check they’re looking or listening
Then speak. A little preparation can make a big difference.
4. Use Gestures and Actions
Engage younger children by using gestures and actions. This provides extra clues that help them understand what you’re saying, making the conversation easier to follow.
5. Support Understanding with Simpler Language
If children find it hard to understand, try:
Breaking information into shorter chunks
Using simpler words and shorter sentences
Using visuals (pictures, diagrams, symbols)
Asking older children to repeat back what you’ve said to check understanding
6. Be Patient with Unclear Speech
If a child’s speech is hard to understand:
Show you’re listening and let them know you will wait
Repeat back what they’ve said to show you’ve understood them
If needed, gently say you’re finding it tricky to follow, and look for another way together - e.g. asking them to show as well as tell or work out another way to explain.
The key is to stay supportive, not rushed.
7. Ask Fewer Questions & Give Choices
Avoid overwhelming children with questions. Instead, use comments to take the pressure off. If children struggle to respond, give choices.
“Do you want juice or milk?”
Labelling the objects can help them to find the words they’re looking for.
8. Help Them Make Links
Children with language difficulties can struggle to connect new language to what they already know
Help them make the links by spotting similarities
Talk about related experiences or things they already understand
Make connections explicit: “A volcano is like a mountain, but it can explode with lava.”
9. Make It Fun!
For younger children, play with sounds, words, and sentences.
Use encouraging noises in conversation: “wow”, “yeah”, “amazing!”
Use expressive words and sounds when playing: “bang”, “splash”, “zoom!”
10. Ask the Children What Works for Them
Older children are often very astute and may have thoughts on what helps them learn best. Ask them directly about what strategies or methods work for them - they may have valuable insights.
Want to learn more?
Check out these helpful articles from the LuCiD research team for accessible and informative research into early language development.
How can our responses to babies’ gestures help with their language development?
Quantity vs quality of child-directed speech: Which matters most?